


belong in your arms

by stormss



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Found Family, Grief, M/M, Minor Character Death, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28996398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormss/pseuds/stormss
Summary: He’s never lost a teammate before. He’s not used to the silence, the lingering glances on a locker that will soon be empty as they simmer in disbelief, the soft touches to offer a small ounce of comfort. And through it all, there’s one person he longs for most.(Spoilers for 2x02).
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 54
Kudos: 281
Collections: 9-1-1 Lone Star ▶ Carlos Reyes / Tyler Kennedy "TK" Strand





	belong in your arms

**Author's Note:**

> so.....i did a thing. i started writing this maybe an hour after i watched the episode because the idea wouldn’t leave me alone and i have no self control, and i put off sleeping to get this all written out. this also might be terrible because i've never written something so quickly, but, well, here we are! 
> 
> the title comes from _i belong in your arms_ by chairlift. come say hi on [tumblr!](https://reyesstrand.tumblr.com/)

TK's still hearing the screams. 

The scene had been pure chaos—thick smoke and small fires littered over the yard, a bunch of college kids scrambling around to check on their friends, the heat latching onto them all and refusing to let go. He'd been stabilizing a girl with abrasions to her arm when his dad had called for everyone to take cover, all of them running as balls of lava—of all things—started flying. It's natural for him to gravitate toward a mental headcount, glancing around as he makes sure his whole family is accounted for, and it's in that moment that it happens. 

And TK's pretty sure that their hearts stop at the same moment.

There's the crackle of his dad's voice in their radios, reporting a man down; there's Nancy trying to run closer to the scene when they all seem to clue in as to who it could be. There's Marjan and Tommy jumping forward to hold her back, arms secure around her writhing form, and Judd just quietly telling them all to get in the truck. His eyes flash with so much experience and so much pain, and TK just runs a hand down his sweaty face as voices swarm around them, calling for a replacement crew. 

And then, there's nothing. 

There's an all-consuming silence as they travel from the scene back to the firehouse, and then there's counsellors and higher-ups and they all have to talk with them and TK just—he just wants to be with his family. He feels numb when he's relieved from his dad's office, his tread heavy as he makes his way downstairs. He hasn't cried yet. There's this impossible weight of grief hovering over all of them, and while his eyes burn and his fingers tremble, it's like the tears just won't come. He drops down into a seat at the table, and rests his elbows on the surface; he scratches his fingers through his hair and feels the grime of the gruesome day as he drags his palms down his face. 

The team starts slowly filling the room, and TK doesn't know what to say to Nancy. She's sitting alone, shaking her head when Marjan tries joining her on the bench, and he wishes there was a quick fix for her, for any of them.

It's just—well. 

He’s never lost a teammate before.

He’s not used to the silence, the lingering glances on a locker that will soon be empty as they simmer in disbelief, the soft touches to offer a small ounce of comfort. The presence of the others is enough, for now, but all of them are slowly coming apart at the seams. Hell, he almost loses it the moment Marjan comes up behind him and squeezes his shoulder, her hand an anchor, the touch a moment of support for the both of them. For a brief moment, he meets her eyes. She squeezes his shoulder harder, and he swallows roughly, giving her the smallest nod before she moves to sit next to Judd.

After the conversation slowly dies out, TK mostly moves on autopilot. He feels like he isn't even really existing in the moment as time seems to melt all around them, until he's eventually strolling a few feet behind Paul and Mateo as they're all-but given an order to clean up and go home. Judd disappears up the stairs and TK loses sight of his dad, but he just focuses on the basic task of showering; on the blissfully hot water and the pressure against his tense shoulders. 

And through it all, there’s one person he longs for most. 

* * *

TK taps his thumb in a broken beat against the steering wheel. 

He's been parked behind Carlos' Camaro for five minutes, and he can't bring himself to go inside. He's had a key for a couple months now, and it's become an expected thing that he'll end up at his boyfriend's place most nights, especially when the shit with his parents started. But flashes of the night keep creeping up whenever he closes his eyes, and it's keeping him from going inside for fear of disturbing his boyfriend who almost definitely had a day as hectic as his. 

Eventually the time on the display above his radio ticks over to _1:19,_ and he figures he can't stay in the car for the whole night. 

He sighs, and stares at his reflection in the rearview mirror. His eyes are rimmed red from unshed tears, and his skin is pale, and he looks about as shitty as he feels. _Whatever,_ he thinks, getting out of the car and locking it up. He finds the familiar grooves of the key to Carlos' condo as he approaches the front door, rubbing the back of his neck before he fits it into the lock, wincing when the door emits a loud creak as he opens it. 

TK's expecting Carlos to be in bed, especially considering he's supposed to still be on shift and didn't tell his boyfriend that he'd be home early. He knows most of the first responders in the area have heard about Tim by now, having worked its way through various channels, but TK hadn't worked up the strength to text anybody, not even Carlos. He figures he'll stew in his thoughts on the couch for a bit before eventually passing out, but he stops in his tracks when he closes the door.

Because Carlos is there, looking soft and beautiful as ever in shorts and a t-shirt TK's stolen from him a handful of times, waiting for him from his perch on the steps. 

And it kind of comes out all at once. 

The exhaustion, the tears, the bone-deep grief. All Carlos has to do is meet his eyes from across the room, and TK feels his feet move without warning. He all-but crawls up the few steps to situate himself between his boyfriend's legs and then Carlos curls him up in his arms, and he's _gone._ The tears he'd been holding back for hours now spill out all at once, his cries quiet as Carlos holds him, as Carlos smooths his hand up and down TK's arm and keeps his other arm secure around his middle, as Carlos presses lingering kisses to the crown of his head.

He just—he lets himself give into the comfort it gives him. He curls his hand around his boyfriend's arm, drops his head to his shoulder, and lets the pain of the night hit him. 

"It's okay," Carlos murmurs after a few moments, TK's sniffles the only other sound in the whole condo. "I've got you, Ty." 

"I—" TK starts to talk, though his voice is rough with tears. Carlos' only reaction is to tighten his hold on him. 

"We don't have to talk about it, not tonight," Carlos says, into his hair. 

TK focuses on the little things, then. Carlos' woodsy scent mingling with his laundry detergent; the grounding presence of the weight of his arms around him. The slow, gentle way Carlos' thumb drags along his forearm. The murmured sweet nothings accompanied by the occasional kiss to the top of his head. 

He pulls back a little, then, to look at his boyfriend properly. Carlos looks at him with knowing sadness in his eyes, though there's always that glint of fondness, of love, glistening there too. TK's eyes slowly close the moment Carlos reaches a hand to his face and gently wipes away the tears with his thumb, before ducking close to kiss his forehead. 

"Thank you," TK whispers, clearing his throat roughly before curling his fingers into Carlos' shirt. "For being here. I don't—I couldn't—" 

He shakes his head, eyes screwing shut again, and Carlos makes a soft noise and pulls him in again. 

"Hey, I'll always be here for you," Carlos says, arms more properly around him in a hug, now. "Come on, think you can make it to bed?" 

TK nods, sniffing and roughly wiping at his face with his sleeves. Carlos sends him toward his bedroom before he makes a detour to the kitchen; TK watches him and sees him pulling a bottle of water from the fridge, and his heart gets caught in his throat as he makes his way down the hallway.

Carlos' bed doesn't show any signs of being slept in, yet, and the thought of Carlos waiting up for him hits him again. His stomach twists pleasantly with adoration so heavy, he doesn't know how he's able to contain it all. Carlos appears again, then, turning off the lights behind him. TK shrugs out of his outer-layers, climbing into his side of the bed in his boxers and t-shirt, and he takes a few long sips of water when Carlos hands him the bottle. 

He still feels grief clawing through his whole body, like something evil with teeth. But it's stomped down, the flames tamed if only for this moment when he lets himself be pulled against his boyfriend's chest, Carlos' arms around him once more. It's a place he likes to be, if he's being honest; it feels safe, grounding, physically affectionate in a way that's special to them. 

"I'm here," Carlos murmurs, pressing a kiss to his temple, and TK feels some of the last tendrils of tension fade away. 

Tomorrow will be another day. One he'll grapple with—along with his team, with his _family._ And he knows that this grief is going to hang over them, haunting them like ghosts. But as Carlos kisses his head once more, pulling him closer, TK takes his first deep breath in hours. He ducks his head down to kiss his boyfriend's arm, the closest thing in reach, and he lets himself feel secure in Carlos' hold. 

And it's exactly where he's supposed to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! comments/kudos are greatly appreciated! <3


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